A touch of insomnia

While sitting on the cusp of a New Year, I am finding myself plagued by an age old condition of insomnia. More so it is not really only insomnia but a manic disposition and overwhelming sense of both guilt and worry. So, finding myself with a little extra time I've decided to write.

I love to think that in this coming year I will be in the habit of writing more I seriously doubt it. Looking at the post from a year ago and then running back on all that I've done over the past year reminds me of what a fantastic year it has been. It also moves me to pause because how many other years have been this great and I've just kinda forgotten them too. So in a tribute to 23 years of life I am going to time line it, count the years if you will, and hope that will put me to sleep.

1987-I was born
1988-
1989-Ryan was born, that limelight stealing toad. Also the Berlin Wall fell, but I didn't care then.
1990
1991-I started Kindergarten with Mrs Nuggent at Country View Elementary.
1992
1993
1994
1995- Went to Disneyland
1996- Dad went to California
1997-
1998-That Summer we moved to Oregon. Started Middle School
1999-Had my first breakdown. Went to Outdoor School
2000-Participated in the Oregon State Mock Election, thought Bush should win... I was so young.
2001- Started High School. Met Karin M, who changed my life in ways that I will never forget. I was talking with my Mom in her bedroom when the towers fell.
2002 Have the only concrete memory of my Mom telling me no. Really started to get to know Chrissy Albright.
2003-Mom stopped working at St. Lukes and started subbing. Went to Europe as an Oregon Ambassador of Music.
2004- Ryan Started high school. Went to junior prom with Jenni V and had a fantastic time. Ran for student office, made a cake for my speech, and lost.
2005- Stole the car to drive to Melissa's to help her with math. Was a director for Mayday. I went to Music in May where I had my first kiss and girlfriend. I graduated High School. Started Attending Pacific University and met a whole cadre of people who forever changed my life. Came out as gay and lost friends because of it. Had my first boyfriend.

More to come
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011

Playing In Thai

I cannot deny that I am so happy to have access to the whole internet again. Right now I am sitting outside of the guest house on a friends computer. It's been a nice few days working on getting things ready for tomorrow when we play with kids. I am actually preforming right off the bat and teaching a workshop, but everything is going to go swimmingly because it's all stuff I picked up at Pacific and games from life. The performance piece is one that I adapted from a Imago piece I saw during research. I know that's a horrible way to do theater but a story told is a story told and It's really just a game of clown musical chairs. I'll put up a video later.

I do love it and I am having so much fun. I've forgotten how much I miss theatre. I am so excited to play group energy throw.

Travel Plans

So with semester one finished I am off on another whirlwind adventure.
Today I leave for a city in the south of China, Guangzhou in the
Guangdong province, by train. It'll take a day to get there by train,
but that's why I chose it... I rarely get to go anywhere by train.
Once there I'll spend about three days going around the city with a
travel buddy: Daniel, he is a German student studying Chinese at
Nanjing University. On the 23 I'll split off from Daniel, he'll come
back to Nanjing to meet his Mother and I will head on to Bangkok
Thailand. As of right now I don't have accommodations for Bangkok but
I am asking around. My flight is a bit ludicrous and I should have
expected nothing less from someone who lists his office of work as
Starbucks. I leave at Midnight on the 23 and arrive at 2 am on the
24th in Bangkok. To say I am enthusiastic about this would be a
beautiful lie.

Once on Bangkok, I'll stik around for a few days. Do a little
shopping, a little tourism, and a little resting. On the 25th I am off
to a town in the West-North of Thailand called Mae Sot to join a
volunteer group called Spark! Circus. If you haven't heard about it
yet here's the skinny. Spark! Circus is a group of volunteer circus
performers who travel the to refugee camps, migrant schools,
hospitals and orphanages along the Thai-Burmese border and try and
bring some joy and wonder to those whom they encounter. I found them
back in October and started talking to the leader and they said "Sure
come join us." I'll be with them from about the 25th of Jan to the
10th of Feb. If you want to read more about Spark! look here:
http://www.thespinsterz.com/spark-circus.htm

I'll be back in China/Nanjing by the 13th for Chinese New Year. I will
try and send little posts to Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger as I can
just so you know I am alive.

19/01-20/01 Train to Guangzhou
20/01-23/01 Guangzhou
24/01-25/01 Bangkok
25/01-11/02 Mae Sot and Spark!
11/02-12/02 Bangkok
12/02-13/02 Guangzhou
13/02-20/02 Chinese New Year
22/02 New Semester Starts

Anyway love you all.

--
Iain C. Culp
~~~~
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Jean-Paul Sartre

Dance Dance Boom Boom!!

Ok, I haven't heard "Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom" in about 3 years...
really when I quit going to The Escape was the last time I remember
hearing it. I should first explain that Chinese children, at least in
grades 1-4, do morning physical exercise in the morning. When it was
warmer they did this stretching routine, just like in the movies or
think the first episode of "Heroes" with all the Japanese exercising.
For the dance/stretching there is a set thing that they play and it
keeps the time for the kids to do the set moves. It's cool to watch
but also a bit eerie.
[IMG]http://i602.photobucket.com/albums/tt109/culp5945/Random%20Year%20Two%20Kids/IMG_0357.jpg[/IMG]
  Yet, when the weather turned cold they started doing a morning jog
in the artificial-green. For this the music is a hodgpodge of techno
remixes and hits, and i often wonder if they snuck onto my computer
and stolen most of my music. So far, in addition to the Vengaboys,
they've played Aqua, Madonna, and a few other lesser know hits. Really
I don't need to go out Friday nights because all week I sit in my
office dancing or I go out and walk/dance with the kids. I know it's
slightly unprofessional but there is a saying that I can't help but
follow: "Dance as if no one were watching, Sing as if no one were
listening, And live every day as if it were your last" Anyway that's
all for now. I have a New Years Post I am working on and hope to have
up soon.
Love from China!
--
Iain C. Culp
~~~~
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Jean-Paul Sartre

Because driving while reading is civically irresponsible

So I take two 1 hour bus rides a day and they are rather boring. After
about the third week the sights got all the same (there are only so
many shops and near car crashes on can see) so I went looking for an
escape. If I could I would work on my Chinese, but it is still going
to be a few months of Rosetta Stone before I am even remotely
comfortable trying. So I, like most the American in the program, have
chosen to retreat to the sound space of my MP3 player. The following
are some links to audio books and audio tracks that I thought people
might take some interest in.

The first, and preferred, track on this bus-ride-playlist is "This
American Life." TAL is an hour long radio program which gets me door
to door most days and I love it. If you've never heard it, or heard me
extol its virtues, then it's time you take a listen. Produced by WBEZ
Chicago and Public Radio International "each week we choose a theme,
and bring you three or four stories on that theme" You can download
each weeks episode and purchase past episodes. TAL currently owns over
3 gigs on my MP3 player and comes up as the most listened to album.

Then there are the audio books and the main point of this email. I've
recently come across two wonderful lists of books. Between work and
daily life it may be hard to get extra-circular reading in, and I find
audio books are wonderful. Of course they are no exception for the
real thing, but when you spend 2 hours on a bus and reading a book
makes you car sick or you spend hours driving to work, an audio book
is your friend. Even better is the fact that books in the public
domain, as all of the classics now are, are easily accessible and
free. On today's listening list: a reading of Herman Hesse's
"Siddhartha." Below I've compiled a list of links to share for audio
books. I will warn that people contribute these readings which means
some of them are not as nice as others, but there are usually who have
read it.

http://librivox.org/ (I've known about librivox for over 3 years now
and have multiple books from them some are hit others are miss)
http://www.gutenberg.org/browse/categories/1 (you can also get e-texts
and occasionally I will take part in the "Edit a Page a Day" program)
http://www.learnoutloud.com/Free-Audio-Video/Literature (this is a
link to the free Audio Literature but you can also buy an account and
find other subjects)
http://www.loudlit.org/ (smaller collection of public domain works)
http://www.thoughtaudio.com/ (you can buy a pass or spend a a bit
downloading the segments)
http://www.alexwilson.com/telltale/spokenalexandria.php (some free some buy)
http://storynory.com/ (for the kids or teaching!)
http://www.podiobooks.com (audiobooks via a Creative Commons Licensing
so newer, more independent work)
---pay for it--- sites that you buy the book (who dose that any more? :P:P)
http://www.audible.com
http://www.amazon.com
and always iTunes.
etc...
----list---
http://onlinedegreeprograms.org/blog/2009/100-free-audio-books-you-should-have-read-by-now/

The third choice is to listen to music, but that is so early 2000.

Anyway, doing well in China. Kids are good. This week I worked on
pronunciation differences between "P," "B," and "D." "Please play
polite police." Rather cold this week and we had snow Monday which is
rather unusual or so I am told. Have a good weekend.

--
Iain C. Culp
~~~~
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Jean-Paul Sartre

Test blog from Email

Setting up my Email to Blog. If it works life will be wonderful.

--
Iain C. Culp
~~~~
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Jean-Paul Sartre

A note about Ambivalence

It's what you have to do sometimes.

I am not a fan of China still... but we're working on it. Ambivalent existence is defined as being in a state of two opposing emotions at the same time, the liminality term of emotions. And for now I will be content living in that state of liminality. I am depressed living here, but I know that it is still early and in time things will change. Hate is but love it= Ambivalence.

Yesterday was ok... but here is the ambivalent nature of my life now.


My baggage finally arrived and this is the first step into reaching "happy". Clothing. Notebooks. Poetry Books. My Lunchbox. It's nice to have some of my things. It all prompted a quick shower and a change to fresh fresh clothing, which after going to Burning Man--that's a rant for later-- the clothing is big even the shower *meh.* The ability to change my cloths from the ones I had been wearing in 90º+ and 70%+ humidity for 3 days that was good. I never thought unpacking could be a joyous event but it was. In London I had a discussion about the importance of ritual, and there was nothing mundane about me unpacking my bag!

I took each polo shirt out, took a whiff of the fabric and then refolded it and put it in one of the closets. I am lacking hangers at the moment so all my dress-shirts received the same treatment as the polos, and to be an equal-opportunity unpacker, so did the pants. Now while this sounds, and is, all completely neurotic, here is where that $100,000 college degree comes in and the free common sense. My neurotic movements: unfolding, smelling, refolding, placment became ritual; fabric purchased for mundane life at home from anywhere between $8-50 became a sacred connecting object between Iain Chandler Culp of Oregon and Iain Chandler Culp of Nanjing, China. To the uninitiated ritual is meaningless or neurotic, but a stranger in a strange land will do what needs to be done to keep that portion of home as close to his heart. So my ambivalence is born of the hatred of leaving my old life, but the love of this new one. And all of this was just from unpacking my clothing!!

After the clothing I went for the pages that I've been saving from from Aperture. They're all on my wall now in a collage. I call it "Oh, That way, madness lies..." because that's the quote that is in the middle of the whole mess, and it's from King Lear. It's a good size, a portion of the wall. And I think I'll keep expanding just as an activity to keep me sane. There are a few magazine stands outside the school and then there are a few book stores 'round and so it will grow.

As for today the plan is to head to the Xianlin and lean what the hell I am doing here for the rest of the year. We had a session yesterday which was all about living in Nanjing and what not, it was good. I got a map. That is good. So I'll update you all with what I learn today, tomorrow at 4am when i can't sleep.